Forgiving is quite a touchy subject. For others, forgiving is kind of ruining the justice for the offended party. And that is why saying, “Forgive them and just forget about it [the incident]” is quite easier said than done. For a person who was badly hurt and broken, it is not easy (never easy) to simply forgive and forget.
Language
Words carry more weight—more than people think they do. Some words and the way they were said can affect people positively or negatively. Some encouraging words can give one person the boost they need in reaching for their goals in life. Some words can even save lives. And then some words can crush dreams and goals. Some words can break a person. And some words can kill, which gives truth to the adage “The pen is mightier than the sword.” It should go without saying that people should mind their words and how they say them.
Offense
Some offenses can be so damaging that forgiving the offender can seem impossible. Most especially if the offense affects livelihood, one’s reputation, one’s family (or those people especially close to them). Even when they say that time heals all wounds, some people who were offended can’t seem to see themselves forgiving their offenders any time.
Abandonment
Perhaps one of the most (if not the number one) cause of unforgiveness is abandonment. It is said that no man is an island. And every child is born into the world with people surrounding them. Sometimes, it is not even family (by blood). And it could be the first sense of abandonment one could feel. The thought and feeling that no one wanted them since birth is quite a tough pill to swallow. Even in adulthood, when one person in your comfort zone abruptly leaves or disappears from your life for no reason (or because of cheating and other issues), it is easy (and quite automatically) to feel unforgiveness toward the person/s that left.
Forgiving may come easily to other people, but not to some. The cause of the hurt and the intensity of the offense and the capacity of one person to take in matter. They could take time to forgive. But sometimes when the offender actually seek them and beg for forgiveness, the forgiveness may come sooner than later, especially of the offender really is repentant.